Chairmanship Exam

Instructions: Each question is worth 6.25 points. You have four hours to complete your work. Except as noted, the proctor will not answer any of your questions. If you believe a question to be flawed or ambiguous, please note the ambiguity or flaw.

    You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. If you no longer have an appendix, signal the proctor. Another organ will be assigned.

    2,500 riot-crazed aborigines will storm the test site when you finish reading this problem. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

    Create a life form. Estimate the difference in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

    Compoe a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat. Extra credit: add a nice soft-shoe routine. (The committee has ruled that tap dancing -- however artistic -- would be too disruptive in the context of this examination.)

    Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodiasias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. Of course, it is not necessary to translate.

    Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct but do not carry out an experiment to test your theory.

    Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 80x86 CPU supporting a network of 64 intelligent workstations, each utilizing your algorithm, design the communications interface and all necessary control programs.

    There is a red telephone under your desk. Start WWIII. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any. Partial credit will be given for starting national or regional conflicts. Note and avoid possible conflict with the Sociology assignment.

    The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box under your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take any measures you deem appropriate, except those that involve harm to the proctor. Observers from PETA are monitoring this test and are anxious to litigate. Determine a viable strategy to minimize the amount of jail time and legal costs that you may incur. Develop an indifference relationship for jail time, legal costs, and personal harm.

    Develop a realistic plan to determine and then finance the national debt. Take into account all promises intended to be kept by the person most likely to win the next election. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, The Donatis controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

    Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

    Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the development of mathematics on science.

    Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

    Describe in detail from the viewpoint of an nth century being, where n varies from positive 1 to positive 31, Anno Domini. Be objective and specific.